My room smells like vodka and shame
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
