She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize