so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
