The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
