Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
