I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
