he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
