As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
