laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
