Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
