I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
