You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
