Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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