...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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