Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
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