Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
