My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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