ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
