Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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