Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
