Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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