I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize