I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
