apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
