Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
