she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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