he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
