I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He? As in you personified your dick?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
