how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize