Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
