we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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