its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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