My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
