she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
