If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
