I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
