i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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