Please, let me fuck your mom
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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