Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She announced her abortion via fbk
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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