He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was confusing and full of hummus
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
