I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
