I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
