I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
