Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
