You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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