how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
