i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
