chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
