I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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