But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
