If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My life is pants optional.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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