Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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