Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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