I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
