I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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