it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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