well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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