They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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