The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
