Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
