he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
a search helicopter?!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
