Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
