Dual....:-)
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
