I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
