3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
