i just google imaged poop.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
