The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
