I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.