Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
