Dude i fell asleep inside of her
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.