how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
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Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.