he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think people are normalizing furries
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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