apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
