The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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