well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
