I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize