Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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